“Damn it Hegseth, I thought you said we could convince the military to shoot the American citizens I don’t like…I mean…antifa.”

“I was sure calling them fat would work sir…”

“You’re fired Hegseth! Now…who can I get that will be able to convince the military to shoot their own friends and families…can’t be that hard.”

At least I have all these social media likes. Those are a form of currency I can exchange for food and shelter, right?

Ooh!! Here we go folks, here comes the power vacuum!!

“Hey! Welcome to Heaven! Congratulations! You lived a virtuous life free of sin and full of good deeds. How would you like to spend eternity?”

“Where’s Donald Trump!?!?”

“Uhh…he’s very much in Hell…he wasn’t exactly…Heaven…material.”

“Yeah, I know. I’d like to spend my eternity in Hell watching him burn!”

“sighs Are you sure? This is an eternity you’re talking about here.”

“Did I stutter?”

“sighs loudly No…no you didn’t, portal opens…”

These fucks can’t even do fascism right.

I would, but all these black flames keep sloughing my flesh off.

Charlie Kirk was a stain on Earth that was thankfully cleaned up.

And yeah, I saw the video of the assassination. The shit stain got better than it deserved.

He jumped slightly ahead in the timeline. The plan is to tell the military to shoot its own citizens, but they’re really fumbling the ball badly with Hegseth and Trump’s idiocy recently, and of course, now this fuckup.

They think if they just stick to the script the military will play ball, but as fucked up as the US military is, it takes a lot to be keen on going into your own homes and shooting your own families because an elderly orange shitstain tells you to.

It’s as if they’re people with minds and wills of their own that can only be influenced by money and power so much, and no more. What a fucking revelation to have at the age of 79 years old…