Big balls

As someone who usually hates shallow, easy, nihilistic answers…

Hah! With this Justice Department?

But you guys don’t understand! Sports!!!

As I remember/understand it, it’s a civil law, not a criminal one. One that doesn’t really care about standing (who has skin in the game to file a lawsuit). So here’s the neat part: damn near anyone can sue over it!

It could even be done as an official act!

Just go with that one.

(I mean honestly, how do you give yourself a sunburn with a spray tan?)